Hindi Diwas, to hell with us.

It's official now. The whole of India is going to be oppressed by a
new demon called the Hindi Diwas, and apparently it stands for "Hindi
Day". It's coming on Sept. 14th, and this can of worms had to be
opened by the Hindi imperialists. From this day on, it can no longer
be hidden behind well meaning phrases of national unity, nor can it be
clouded by any doubts over whether Hindi is going to be imposed on the
whole of India.

It won't take very long for us to have a "Thamizh Dinam", a "Kannada
Dina" and umpteen other equivalents, and why not? To each his
language is important, and I'll be damned if anyone dare stands in the
way of any of these occasions.

There was a debate on television last night about this, on a program
called We The People. There wasn't enough confrontation here, but
there will be everywhere else, thanks to this mindless provocation from the Hindi
imperialists. As always, the most irritating comments came in as
tweets and e mails from people mentioning Hindi as a "national
language", as if such a thing exists. Clearly, ignorance rules.

In the debate was the question - "Do we need a national language to
unite us?". My answer is a categorical NO, and even if it were deemed
necessary, it sure shouldn't be Hindi. I'd prefer Tamil to be honest.
I can already hear the conch shells being blown by the majority.
Sorry, fools, the national bird is the peacock and it sure isn't in
the majority like the crow. Neither is the stray dog going to replace
the Tiger as the national animal, nor is the flower of the parthenium
plant going to replace the lotus. So, the "majority" nonsense isn't
going to work.

There's a reason we take pride in the Peacock, the Tiger and the Lotus
and cringe about the Crow, Stray Dog, and Parthenium. If we have to
choose our "national language" based on beauty, evolutionary status,
and power of communication, there are other languages that would give
Hindi a sound pasting. Out goes the "quality" angle for Hindi.

Now, we can get onto the real debate - do we need some "unifying"
language? Now, why would I want to be unified with the pigs who have
already declared Hindi Diwas as being something of national
importance? I don't want to associate myself with this bunch of
fanatics, ever. It's a dangerous ploy from them that will create
needless suspicions, misgivings, anger, chaos, and very sensitive
distinctions between Hindi and non-Hindi speakers, and is the first
salvo in what will invariably become the most divisive cultural battle
within India. Our enemies must love this!

The assumption that India is somehow not unified already is a
dangerous one. The Indian Rupee has more than ensured that we have
enough of a market size as "India" to keep all of us interested in
staying together as one nation. We have demands for new states, but
all part of the Indian Union. Strong as ever, more officially diverse
now, more chaotic, but also more dynamic, expressive and climbing up
the ladder on the international importance stage. None of this came
about because of Hindi, but a fair bit due to English, thank you very
much.

The laziness surrounding the thought processes that repeatedly lead to
this debate is remarkable. A farmer in Goa has no need to feel
"oneness" with a carpenter in Hyderabad, but I'm sure if these two
meet by circumstance, they will be civil enough towards each other.
With or without language, their realities are fairly different from
one another, and with or without language, their differences are what
will make each interesting to the other. Homogenity will kill India
and everything we stand for.

We are a large country, an ancient country, but a very young nation.
India is still just an idea to us, and nobody really understands it
completely. We as Indians have never had any need to show our
solidarity with one another, except when the very idea of our
existence as a nation has been challenged. We do not have to be
worried about our loosely defined existence either, for it has taken
enormous courage to conceptualize this Indian nation in the first
place and there is nothing to indicate we won't have the courage to
stand by the idea, however flimsy it may eventually prove to be.

By singling out Hindi for preferential treatment, the fools behind
Hindi Diwas have taken a very dangerous, uniquely annoying, and
shallow path of celebratory giddiness that will be received as a
challenge by many of us. Part of the price to pay to live in a
democracy is allowing for the potential for a few fools to disrupt,
distort, and delay our ideas of progress. In this case, there are
sady, a lot of fools, and a lot of us are going to suffer the
consequences of their flippant attitudes towards the non-Hindi Indian.

The descent of the level of this conversation, is now brilliantly
highlighted by this ridiculous Hindi Diwas. So, what can be the harm
in entertaining some low thoughts to mark the decision? What are we
supposed to do on this bloody Hindi Day? Greet each other in Hindi?
Or speak in Hindi the whole day? Sorry vakkalolingala, naanga
Thamizhley dhaan pesuvom. Otha ennada pannuvey, chappathi naaye? Any
lower and it won't be fun. Now, if we had a day for each language in
India, that would mean we would all have to speak that language on
that day, and we can already see a least minimum of twenty five days
of our productivity going down the drain.

What have we accomplished during "The Year of the Girl Child" or "The
Year of The Tiger"? Would Hindi Diwas save our students in Australia
from racial attacks, now that we are going to be miraculously unified?
It is apparent that some people in New Delhi have a lot of spare time
on their hands and have to conjure up some nonsense, ostensibly, for
us all to get excited about. The devil's workshop is working full
time and is flying the Indian flag on its chimney.

The slide in India's national debates these days brings to the fore
not an issue that two sides see differently, but distinctly, very
distinctly, puts on stage two Indias across an enormous divide. One
side knows what the issue is and has the intelligence to deal with it,
and the other is either ill informed, uneducated, or simply incapable
of cohesive thought. It is not hard to see which side of this
volatile divide Hindi Diwas came from.

This cannot be resolved without a massive reprimand to reverse
stupidity. Sorry dear Mother India, this is going to get ugly, real
agli.

India's Cattle have Class!

First of all, "Cattle Class" is a very common term used by many people
in many cultures and it is apparent India needs to wake up and lighten
up, since many don't even seem to have heard this term before.

The BJP thinks this is deplorable and the situation is "ominous"
because China is showing intent of transgressing our border!!! That
measures the BJP's knowledge of world affairs rather well, doesn't it?
Their spokesperson hasn't even heard of the term "cattle class" but
they know what China is up to! Never mind that the success of their
famous "Pokhran 2" has come under a shadow of doubt and could
seriously undermine our minimum deterrent capabilities.

Tharoor, after all, did travel in cattle class, didn't he? Why are so
many monkeys asking for his removal? The question is - should a man's
personal comment that clearly doesn't violate any known law somehow
become the grounds for his eviction from his Ministerial post? It
would be a sad day for India if it did, but then, there have been many
sad days for our great country and more will come as long as we have
these dumb cows in government.

At the bottom of this issue is ignorance, as is with many issues in
India. For some reason, it is perfectly okay for people to travel
worse than cattle in unreserved compartments in trains, on roofs of
buses, stuffing children by the dozen into tiny autorickshaws, making
them carry heavy loads of books, getting shoved and squeezed
physically in all kinds of transportation all over India, but a man's
comment about travelling "cattle class" is evoking so much emotion?
Clearly, when there are people who travel three days on trains,
sitting in the lavatories for the entire journey, we've got our
priorities totally screwed up.

Neither do the people reacting have any familiarity with the usage of
the term "cattle class" and many don't even speak English with any
fluency to be qualified enough to comment about this. But there is
plenty of jealousy, clearly, not about a man capable of making a
comment like this, but the fact that he is familiar with new
technologies, has a distinctly modern lifestyle, and is comfortable in
the age of the internet. Compared to Shashi Tharoor, indeed, many of
our ministers do look like cattle to me. And so do the fools that
vote for them. They deserve to be herded and hounded all their lives
till they find a way to start living and behaving like humans.

Cattle definitely have more class than the treatment humans get in
India. This comment should be a compliment. Look at the mindless
millions that show up in trucks (completely violating transportation
laws) at political rallies, the millions that travel in dangerous ways
on a daily basis, get killed every year by falling in ravines or
getting hit by trains at level crossings, and you'd be lucky to be
with a herd of cattle than with thousands of these poor sods our
country is dying to uplift. Doesn't the BJP think of any of these as
ominous exceptions to their "India Shining" image?

Take a crowded local bus in any city in India and you will know
exactly what being "cattle" is all about. The majority of India does
get herded like cattle in many a public place, being "humped" by
people while standing in queues, oppressed by people who have never
even heard of a deodorant and do not have the common sense to wear
cotton clothes, and having to put up with an obnoxious amount of
physical contact for no reason with complete strangers who think
nothing of shoving other people. And we're offended with a comment on
Twitter?

Please let's get a grip on ourselves. If you can't laugh at Tharoor's
comment, that is your loss, not his. If you haven't heard the term
before, well, now you have. There's nothing to feel offended about
and if your poor, sensitive, selectively depressed, bleeding,
patriotic heart is feeling bad, the man has apologized. You'll have
to find that apology on Twitter as well, but if you didn't go there in
the first place, what the heck are you feeling bad about anyway?

HELP, your Honour!!!

The ban on Jaswanth Singh's book "Jinnah" has been lifted by the
Gujarat High Court. The Gujarat government has to inevitably follow
suit since its ban notification has been overthrown. What they should
really be sensitive about is not the lift of the ban, but the
observation made by division bench, about the notification - "book was
not read, mind was not applied, opinion had not been formed"!

In other words, stripped of the diplomacy, this is the court telling
the government, "You bastards have neither read the book, nor are
capable of understanding its contents. You have no mind, and you have
no thought process. Get the f*** out of the way". Hee hee hee! Tell
us something we don't know already. Modi and his bunch of idiots have
been shown their place. No wonder Jaswant Singh is thrilled. So am
I.

But the damning situation really isn't about Jaswant Singh's book and
the Modi government's knee jerk reaction of sorts. It has to do with
how many stupid people there are in politics and government -
something I have been harping about for a while now. Plain stupidity!
Can we constantly lean on the honourable members of our judiciary to
be rescued from stupidity? That is not what they are there for, but
they have certainly made a statement here.

We have the worst people in politics, and the worst manpower in
government. There is neither an atmosphere that encourages
intelligence or a demand for excellence in performance. Just visit
any government office and you can see how well the country is being
run. The problem with government is that it doesn't have to deliver
anything since we're okay with mediocrity.

Democracy, particularly when practised to the extreme degree as in our
country, has one major drawback. A few fools can hold back the rest
of us from progress. It is already a crime when many fools can hold
back the progress of a few intelligent people, but giving the majority
of India the benefit of doubt, we're still left with this incredible
trapping - those in government can make our lives miserable just
because they are stupid enough to do so!

What is our defence against plain stupidity? Insulation - you cannot
buy it unless you are very rich. That will mean, you have your own
fields to produce food, your own water supply, your own electricity
generation, and you have your own aircraft so you don't have to deal
with government maintained roads - at the very least. If today is any
indication, Air India planes will catch fire from fuel leaks. You
could DIE from government inefficiency.

Indifference is the other option - won't get us very far. Unless you
choose to live in a jungle without any interaction with anybody, you
are going to get hit by stupidity sooner or later.

Spiritual evasion - something we Indians are very good at! You can
tell yourself that this is God's world and you just have to learn from
it, evolve, mature, and essentially, you guessed it, do nothing! How
lovely that evolving in the spirit can lead you to be a coward putting
up with nonsense. If this is acceptable to you, like the majority of
Indians, then you have no problems.

But what about those of us who bloody well want something better than
what we have, on all fronts? Is there any real reason beyond
willingness to put up with stupidity and mediocrity for us to be
subjected to the fundamental anxiety of being Indian today? Why
should the most basic things go wrong in our country? Try going into
a government office to get a plan approved to build a house. You
cannot do it without paying a bribe unless you are willing to bully.
Why should we have to bribe OR BULLY dumbasses to do jobs they should
be doing efficiently anyway?

Look at how quickly they can move when it concerns their own parasitic
futures within government. One politician dies in a helicopter crash,
and immediately, there is an active debate about putting satellite
phones on all VVIP carrying aircraft! Doesn't matter if the rest of
us can never get accurate information about trains coming and going on
a simple automated system by calling 139. Doesn't matter how many
thousands of man hours are lost in productivity just because we have
to cover for government inefficiency, backwardness, delays and just
plain incompetence. VVIPs have to get their bloody satellite phones,
and we're paying for that, no doubt.

How come politicians get to travel on well paved roads everywhere,
while we pay road tax and have to put up with pot holes, snarls, road
blocks, dirt and debris that are never removed, and policemen willing
to ticket us for offences we didn't commit - like overspeeding on a
TVS Scooty! Come on!

The plain truth is that other people can affect our lives. The more
stupid they are, the more lazy they are and the more incompetent they
are, the more negatively they can affect our lives. Government jobs
in India attract precisely the most stupid, the laziest and the most
incompetent people. So, how are we going to escape the grind with
them? The judiciary is all we have on our side. Let's sue the living
daylights out of the government for all the crappy work they do, the
crappy decisions they take, and the things they never get around to.
No other way out of this mess. Sue, sue, sue.

Penny foolish pound mad.

It has suddenly dawned on some of our politicians in Delhi that they
are being wasteful. Gee! What a relief!

The last few times Tamilnadu Deputy Chief Minister Stalin visited a
little town called Erode in Tamilnadu, streets were decorated with
tube lights for kilometres, while the ordinary residents of the town
have had to endure a daily two hour power cut for a long time, and
posters and cut outs of enormous size and variety were on display all
along the route he travelled in. Traffic was diverted from the
arterial roads onto little roads that led to jams and delays and an
enormous loss of productivity resulted for the whole town! We can
safely estimate total losses and wasted expenditure to be no less than
Rs. 10 lakhs. This is just one day in the life of one of our
politicians who is not even a heavy hitter on the national scene.

We can also safely assume that Stalin alone has at the very least
fifty such days in a year, and so we're burning Rs. 5 crore for
absolutely nothing gained. (He doesn't even say anything profound or
accidentally drop any pearls of wisdom). Let's look at 25 states and
assume that only one politician in each state burns money like this,
even though there must be a much higher number out there. That's 125
crores burnt for nothing. The last elections cost an estimated Rs.
10,000 crore. Mayawati's beautification fiasco runs into figures well
over Rs. 100 crore. while she is begging for money from the centre to
fight drought.

But, we've got to have AUSTERITY! Hooray! SM Krishna decides to
travel economy on his trip to Belarus and Turkmenistan, going abroad
with only 3 members not 12. I suppose with an air ticket to Belarus
costing about Rs. 40,000 at the most, that saves the government about
Rs. 4.5 lakhs! Consider that a fair amount of this money could have
gone to the beleaguered Air India, which is really money going from
one pocket of the government to another, and it is essentially nothing
saved.

Who are we kidding here with this Austerity Drive? Today we have
Sonia Gandhi travelling economy class on Air India. According to CNN
IBN's own estimate, the total saving, including having to reserve 15
seats, keeping the seat next to her free, and all the other nonsense
that goes with her travel, the total savings is Rs. 10,000! The
Special Protection Group just makes sure they add to every travel
expense of every politician at this level. Again, when she is
travelling Air India, isn't this government to government billing?
What the heck is all the fuss about?

Fundamentally, with all the nonsense about India being an IT power, it
should be relatively easy to set up a robust video conferencing
facility between anyone and anyone else in the world today. Throw in
encryption and you have privacy, secrecy if you like to call it that.
So, why should anybody travel at all for a stupid face to face meeting
with anyone else? Isn't this the question that we should be asking at
this juncture?

If companies can carry on regular year round business using the
internet, why can't our politicians use these technologies for a few
days with each country? It will save an enormous amount of money by
completely eliminating all the fuss involved with VIP travel - flying,
hospitality, security, insurance, logistics, and medical emergency
arrangements.

Almost all our politicians have assets well beyond their legal means
of earning. Is there any austerity there? Absolutely not. For
example, there are corruption cases against Mulayam Singh Yadav and
Mayawati running into several crores of rupees. The figures allegedly
put away by some of our other politicians are staggering. No
austerity there. How else would we spend Rs. 10,000 crore on a single
election? That money is not even accounted for! So please, spare us
this hogwash about austerity. We want you monkeys to be efficient,
not austere. Get your butts off your cushions and get to work.

The Unique Idiot Detection Authority - all ours now!

Chairman, UID Authority, Nandan Nilekani, of Infosys fame, has just
announced that we are entering "uncharted territory" in technology,
and that it is a "technological challenge" to get the Unique ID scheme
working. What the f*** is this idiot talking about? And why isn't he
getting fired?
He spat all this to that other idiot Karan Thapar on TV - that we are
technologically challenged and going into uncharted territory in
collecting biometric information of a billion people and putting them
all in an online database. Karan Thapar for his part had to ask the
stupid question, "Isn't this a case of India's ambition outstripping
its ability?". Well, duh! Has our ability every outstripped our
ambition? Has anybody's? Nilekani assured us that this has never
been done before, and I wonder why he would be given the job if it
had. Where do we get these freaks from?
The "Uncharted territory" claim is a complete lie. Biometric
information is not some three hundred years into the future technology
in development and testing. The USA has been collecting it during
the visa process from every human applying for entry into the USA for
a few years now and storing it online for verification at the port of
entry. Two birds with one stone - collecting information is not such
a big deal, and putting it online for access from all over the world
is also not a big deal. There is a proven working model here! Even putting a probe on the moon was not uncharted territory!
How the heck can this be a technological challenge either? The process involves a retina scan, and a fingerprint scan, usually of the index finger. The chance of two people having the same
information is virtually non existent, and so this is considered very safe for
identification purposes. Once these two scraps of information go
into a database as THE identification parameters for ONE specific
person, it is accessible just like accessing your e mail, from
anywhere in the world. You cannot have two people with the same
information, and when you present your retina and your fingerprint
anywhere in the world, all we need to do is see if it matches the
information on file. That's it!
So that leaves us with numbers. If this works for millions of people,
why can't it work for a billion? Absolutely no reason it cannot.
Once we figured out how to lay a tar road from point A to point B,
would we really be stumped by having to connect point C? Probably
not. Once we figured out how to put a few sacks of rice in a truck
and send it out on one of these roads, would it be a challenge to fill
up a second truck with sugarcane and send it out? Probably not.
Ten people or ten billion people, same process. There are enough and
more places to store digital information these days and this won't
even take a fraction of the space Google offers free to its free e
mail users. Clearly, numbers and resources, no issues.
So, what is this idiot Nilekani talking about? Does he want this
merely time consuming process to sound like this is some breakthrough
pioneering invention in the making? He is either drunk or stupid on
this one. He can certainly be fired on the latter. If the Chairman
of such an ambitious and potentially crucial government program is so
out of sorts with even the most fundamental, layman expressions to
describe it, is this the best guy we could get for the job?
If a bunch of identification candidates closed their eyes during the retina scan, that
might be an issue, but that's hardly technological like Nikelani would
have us believe. Oh yes, this may really be a bit of a challenge if
one whole tribe of Indians doesn't have index fingers but we can
always agree to use the middle finger in that case. That wouldn't be
uncharted territory either.

We just went from marks to a grade system!

Wow! What a difference it must make to this girl's future!



Well done HR Ministry!

Getting the small things right.

How hard can it really be for the Indian Railways to decide where to receive complaints and suggestions from rail customers?

Do we have to make even the simplest things so confusing and confounding?


Here, take a closer look....

Which mob do you belong to?

Two days ago a mob in Ghaziabad went amok, torching vehicles and
causing mayhem, protesting against the illegal buildings they were
living in being demolished by government authorities. Apparently, the
buildings were built by goondas, no doubt with the active support of
the government, and people have been living there for over twelve
years. It has taken the government twelve years to take action, and
now, everything points to a stalemate since no judgement can really be
pronounced against people claiming innocence on top of inaction for
twelve long years! A stay order of some sort looms large.

Since we are so good at these "stay orders", is there any way we can
put a stay order on mobs? Every week, somewhere or the other in
India, we have groups of people quickly getting into the mob
mentality, burning, looting, breaking, destroying public and private
property. Why is this nation so fiendishly ready to get into the mob
mentality? At one end of the spectrum, we have a claim of making
progress, and on the other, mayhem.

Increasing in menace, increasing in proportions, and going largely
unmentioned as part of a shifting national consciousness, is this
increasingly volatile mentality ready for violence. The so called
free press of India has not even begun to pick up on this enormous
change of colour of the Indian psyche. Our holy ash has turned into
gunpowder and we're sitting on the biggest explosive keg in the world.

The reason for mob violence, is because we cannot, do not and should
not trust the law enforcement mechanism we have. The average
policeman in India is a physically unfit, mentally inferior, poorly
paid, corrupt, and incapable of dominating action in any demanding
situation. Much worse, they are just instruments of violence for
ruling parties in many states. Today a Magisterial investigation
found that the killing of one Ishrat Jehan in 2004 was a fake, staged
"encounter" and that it was a murder by the police, after kidnapping
the victim and others. We have set up a large, armed organization to
do the political mob's killing, called the Police Force.

We have never been groomed to trust the system we have in place. We
have a system in place, on paper. Our police forces are incredibly
corrupt and will simply take the side of whoever is willing to bribe
the most. It is that simple. This is not to say that every police
officer is corrupt, but the couple of thugs in khaki uniform who stop
you on a dark road asking you what business you have driving "so late
in the night" are very likely to be on a fishing expedition to keep
their paunches from shrinking, and one of them is highly unlikely to
be the smart Assistant Commissioner who passed the IPS and showed up
on TV as an earnest servant of country and community.

If you have a road accident, you're more than likely to have to deal
with a mob of Indians trying to mete out "justice", than be
professionally processed by the police department. If you took full
legal recourse to a dispute, you are more likely to be tried for your
stamina in dealing with the system than for your real crime, if any.

If your Air India plane catches fire, some government official is
likely to dismiss it as a "minor inconvenience" and even commend the
superb job done by the pilots (by not even noticing the fire until
passengers started yelling) and the cabin crew (who didn't even tell
people how to jump out of their emergency exits), and appreciate the
superb job done by every one of his staff in ensuring passengers
reached their destinations. (Never mind the eighteen people who were
injured in the process of putting up with these "minor
inconveniences")

The mob is everywhere, in various shapes and forms, waiting to bring
you down. Only if you "belong" to the mob that is India in some way,
can you get away with fewer tensions, even if you have to sell your
soul in the process. The mob is ready to get angry - against you if
you are too straight, with you if you are part of it.

We are getting stressed, negative, and a host of other things
including unhealthy, but at the bottom of it all, we are getting
angry. We're not yet awakened, because we have a culture of imagined
non-violence and an inability to let go of our customary apathy. We
have allowed our country to be eroded by corruption and ineffiency,
and we've slid into anarchy. Yes, we do indeed molest our women in
public and on TV, and we can see our policemen do nothing about it.
We don't throw rich and powerful people behind bars no matter what
crime they commit, and we definitely do not provide protection to the
average righteous citizen. In fact, we have everything in place to
make sure the average citizen cannot lead a righteous life.

Anger is one of those things that doesn't vanish with therapy. It
vanishes with retribution, with an outlet, with an explosive burning
out, and with some kind of triumph. Mobs form quickly when the
opportunity for a quick triumph is sensed. If we catch a thief, like
some people in Bengaluru did the other day not long ago, we are more
likely to thrash him to death rather than hand him over to the police.
All our anger can be unleashed upon a legitimate target without guilt
or fear of retribution. The government that provides us with lousy
infrastructure, terrible water supply, unreliable power supply, and a
quality control mechanism for food and healtcare that is not worth the
paper it is mandated on, doesn't have to deliver anything because we
are highly unlikely to form a mob against it and attack it.

The day we are ready to resort to violence, we will get the attention
we deserve. This isn't a call to incite violence, but a prediction
that such a day may not be far off. If this serves as a wake up call,
then I hope the sleepy heads that are taking home salaries without
doing their jobs and taking the bribes without shame are the ones that
are being warned. It won't be long before the whole of India becomes
one unruly mob.

We're always just one step away from joining a mob. It takes the
slightest persuasion for us to flare up situations in public that go
out of control. We know injustice and we know we are a part of it.
We hate it, but like many things Indian, we're not willing to change
first. Some students in Bihar burnt three coaches in a train recently
because one of them was physically abused by a policeman, allegedly
after refusing to vacate a seat he wrongly occupied. No matter what
the facts are, it takes some doing to burn three coaches of a train.
The wick is burning, and it won't be long before India explodes.

The other thing we are angry about is the prosperity some of our
countrymen are suddenly able to display. We're not appreciative of
the genuine opportunities that some sectors of the economy have thrown
up that have helped create wealth. We know we have also bred
indifference large scale by making some people very wealthy and a
large number incapable of even dreaming of such wealth. It is a
complete and total lie if India tries to project an image of inclusive
growth. Millions will never be part of the great India dream that
some of us have. The wealthy will continue to stay aloof and
insulated.

To the average Indian, India is a miserable country to function in.
It is impossible to lead a quiet, peaceful, productive life for most
of us. This is something to be ashamed of, despite the strong growth
numbers we trumpet. We are nothing but a mob in the making. This is
what angers me - the average righteous citizen of this country doesn't
even have a chance to be indifferent to the mess around him. We are
likely to be killed if we rise against the ruling government, and
there's likely to be no investigation.

India is not a non violent country. Let's get this fact straight.
Our gods and goddesses all have weapons and violence is very much
imbedded in our mentality. Gandhi is the huge abberration in our
mental make up canvas. At best we are passive aggressive, on the
edge, wannabe mobsters. Can anything be more humiliating about being
Indian? Or have we really accomplished something since independence
and nobody knows yet?

Below the hypocritical surface is the real culprit of all - our
illusions about ourselves. We haven't been told that we are a third
world country with a really bad, superstitious, backward attitude. We
haven't been told that we need to get up and put our trust in
knowledge, in truth and in putting our system to work. The terrible
governments we get are a direct result of our collective,
unquestioning slave mentality. We think we are a great people, with a
great culture, who have this amazing connection with God and nothing
can happen to us as a result of our apathy. This terrible country has
happened to us. Can anything be worse?

Ready to die for your leader, stupid?

SIXTY SEVEN people have died so far, many of them by suicide,
apparently grieving over the demise of Andhra Chief Minister YSR
Reddy. An appeal has gone out from higher political circles to the
surviving single cell organisms of Andhra Pradesh to not commit
suicide, and to remain calm.

Which would be a greater service to the nation - allowing markedly
inferior beings to burn themselves out, or preserving them for
breeding more stupidity? Who would commit suicide over the death of a
political leader? Obviously not someone who is rational, not someone
who is responsible, or level headed. You have to be a bit of a nut
case to take a decision like that. If your family gets bonus money
and they are willing to accept it, then there is no end to this
vicious cycle of stupidity - mad acts - compensation. If this
compensation comes from the government, then that must be a crime in
itself, for attempting to take one's life is in itself a crime, and to
have the taxpayer forcibly participate in a donation that pardons that
crime must be a double crime. Worth checking on.

From a position of power, I'd supply miles of rope, thousands of
litres of kerosene, and a copious amount of poison to those who want
to die, for whatever cause, especially to mourn the death of a
political leader. It would reduce the nation's burden, increase our
average IQ, make us more ecologically friendly, and maybe even sell
some television rights and earn some foreign exchange in the process.

Who in the world wouldn't want to watch live people burning, consuming
poison and retching, or hanging from nooses? A firing squad too,
wouldn't be such a waste of choice. I'm willing to bet our TV
channels are missing out on a concept or two for reality television.
How about a contest at a time like this - "Show your love for your
leader! Die Live on TV!". Get a sexy actress to serve colourful
chocolate coated gems of poison from her belly button and you have a
great show! Imagine raunch, retch, and death on the same screen at
the same time!

We have animals in this country that are simply denoted as humans by
the census. A modern nation has absolutely no necessity for these
organisms beyond that. I am now beginning to understand how some
invaders must have thought of forcibly "civilizing" places they
invaded. The Brits didn't succeed that much, but they gave us
something to think about. We have all kinds of pride attached to who
we were, but who we are gives us much to be ashamed about.

Now why are politicians not even going close to the subject of abject
stupidity that pervades our masses, particularly rural ones? Surely
it must be ripe for picking if there are that many dumbasses in our
villages. Surely there cannot be any opposition politician who dare
say, "Let them be stupid!" and get away with it. Are we not seeing
our country in the grip of a wave of stupidity? Is this so hard to
perceive?

Let's look at a singular moron who is willing to die by suicide over
the inconsolable grief caused by the death of his Chief Minister.
Apart from processing food and creating manure and carbon dioxide,
let's take a guess at his potential contribution to India. Is he
likely to be a hard working farmer? If yes, then we need him. But
then, a hard working farmer is unlikely to let his efforts go waste by
killing himself. So, we can rule that out. Could he have a job?
Potentially.

From initial reports, it seems possible that many of those who died
had benefited from YSR's policies, got freebies like medicare and
electricity, and are now suddenly without hope! How nice that there
are fewer people on the roll for these government services to which
budgets have already been earmarked. Good time for more government
programs to loot the taxpayer.

If there are programs to feed the poor and keep them healthy, and none
to get them to use their brains, come to think of it, we have about
the same interest in cattle don't we? If we do indeed treat them like
cattle, shouldn't they be able to ring a bell or something when they
want to die, and we can recruit them to be guinea pigs for tests in
laboratories? I'm sure there will be thrilling and entertaining
results when some of these morons are given shots of experimental
drugs!

India is running on a dangerously low level of common sense. We're on
fumes when it comes to intelligence, and unless we make a substantial
investment in rational thought and reasoning skills, the pursuit of
knowledge will be a thing of the past and building a modern nation
will constantly remain a part of our future, the distant future.